A whisper

Simplicity

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I miss the simplicity of childhood identity, a time when no matter the background people could become friends easily. It did not matter who your mother or father were or how much you had; a simple exchange of names and a few hours of playing together were enough to form friendships. But then you get older and you realize how people are and that sandbox friendship dream is crushed as easily as a fragile flower.
How many of your childhood friends can you rely on? Or better said, how many are still around?
It still happens rarely to bond with people as adults and form friendships. And even rarer are the occasions when true honesty with these people is an option. In these cases if you should be given the chance to form a life together…marry them. Marry the fuck out of them!

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Déjà vu

Spring time came and spring time went,

Flowers bloomed and branches bent.

It was back in the 90′ when they met,

It was a simple time, not easy to forget.

She was twenty, he was twenty and a bit,

Youth so pure holding so much promise,

Their love grew, by mutual passion lit,

They’d become one when they’d kiss.

She fell ill, he stood at her side bravely,

They were growing old much too soon,

Their future seemed to grow dark sadly;

Hardly being brightened by sun or moon;

She got worse, but he was always near,

The meds she was given put her to sleep,

The pain would be the thing she’d fear.

Their tests were hard, but their bond deep.

In time she felt better, but bearing a child

Could mean death as she’d been weakened

Then and forever, but their passion was wild,

So they took a chance, as love beckoned.

Not long passed and they had a baby boy,

For the first time in ages they felt true joy,

She defied the odds and it gave her power,

But sadly, days passed, along came the hour

When she fell ill again, but loved she was

Doctors failed repeatedly to find the cause

Time passed and she slowly withered away

Years passed and she hurts even this day.

Her husband is dying on the inside to see

Her this ill once again and it is agony to be,

So helpless when your wife is suffering so,

Worse than she did almost a life time ago.

Too many opinions from kings of medicine,

Too many empty pills meant to dry up tears.

Have I been a good son, who have I been?

Can I be brave forever, face all of my fears?

What of my father and the hurt that he holds?

Mother’s pain has lasted my whole life through,

For me it’s all I’ve known and yet it still unfolds,

For him it’s a nightmare, a tormenting déjà vu.

I’ll hold them both tightly until things get better,

Hope is all I have and hope is what I will give

Them no matter the tears or stormy weather;

Love and hope spread and joy you’ll receive.

Cardiac implosion

Imagine spending a day playing with these little guys. Are you imagining it yet? Good. Now tell me that it wasn’t the best day ever. Don’t lie. You know nothing can top all that fluffiness. Good. Now go to your significant other and tell them that this day topped the day you met them and the day you took that special trip to that special place and the day you got married and so on. You are alone now, but you played with husky puppies so you don’t care. Husky puppies a.k.a. little wolves that nibble on your soul. Is it possible to die from happiness? Yes. If you don’t have a husky puppy near you, or a dog, go and adopt an animal from the local pound and love them to bits. Thank you!

Press any key to get your fix

This friend of mine has this problem. Ok, it’s me! You got me. I am a “game junkie”.

Since I was 13(I’m 22 now) I’ve been into video games and I’ve played my share of most genres. I remember fondly when, in high school, my friends and I would all go online and play for hours on end. My parents were great growing up, but having to take care of an older family member that had a severe drinking problem, plus some other issues really used to get me down. The solution to this difficult situation was none other than hanging around the internet, playing solo or with others for a lot of time. A lot of time. It helped me forget the bullshit. It was simple. Things are simple when you don’t realize that you’re wasting too much time and one day you find yourself playing games so much it’s all you do. That was high school though.
Before I got into med school my father’s uncle (the older family member I mentioned) passed away due to a stroke. Without him around things were easier. Taking care of someone with an addiction for alcohol is harder than one might think. I felt more relaxed and I cut down on my gaming because I didn’t need to escape from reality that much.
Sadly, the past months have gotten me back on this slippery slope that is gaming addiction. My mom’s sickness got worse. An undiagnosed condition that causes her extremely painful pulsating migraines almost 24/7. She’s seen so many doctors, you’d think it’d be better by now. Not being able to do much in this situation and seeing constant suffering has made me get back into my old habits. Escaping just for 5 minutes is great, but 5 minutes is never enough. I’ve tried limiting my play time and failed. I’ve tried quitting several times and failed every time. Now I’m trying again by putting it all down in writing to try and see the bigger picture. Playing too much makes me feel guilty because I don’t get enough work done properly. I want to become a doctor worthy of taking care of his patients. A well informed and empathetic doctor that can offer hope and treat as many people as possible and maybe, just maybe, find new means of treating certain medical conditions through research.

I often have trouble sleeping and become numb from exhaustion. This makes me want to escape as I used to. I get support from those close to me, but ultimately it is a test of will and I’ve never been the strong willed type. It does feel good though; the moment you quit for a while. I makes me feel free, but afterward I imprison myself.

I need to focus on the positives as hard as it might be sometimes. Maybe the sun will shine my way some day soon. Util then I need to make a change. And I should start by breaking the habit.

Snow(not related to Jon)

The first has yet again returned,

My hand held yours as the night’s sky burned

With colors from the brightest of dreams.

We raised our glases through cheers and screams,

Coat covering your shoulder, watch on my wrist,

Make a wish, my love, we all have a wish list.

Clothes and trips and rigs and other silly things

I’d like us to posses and enjoy. A thought clings,

In the back of my mind and it seems to find

A way to push through the moment and grind;

We are ever so fortunate to live this life,

Where we have each other to chase away strife.

The holidays might end, but the World is still mad

There are human beings everywhere too sad,

Too poor, too sick and too jaded to dare to smile.

I know we cannot help them all, but for a while,

Let us think of them and wish them well at least

May they find shelter and love and have a feast.

At least for a few moments each day let us do so,

For we are blessed to have somewhere to go;

A place where our loved ones prosper and live,

Let us remember to respect, appreciate and give.

Through compassion and empathy let us show,

That humanity can cover the Earth just like snow.

Frosty beginnings

My fondest memory of the start of the new year, if not my only fond memory is giving you a piggyback ride back home.
tumblr_inline_mgo4mpa10A1r1v6twThings don’t always go how you’ve planed; parties are mostly as fun and memorable as the people around you; alcohol doesn’t guarantee people will have a good time and if you’re stuck at 5 a.m. in a bar because you can’t go home due to the lack of cabs make sure you take your loved ones home, where it’s nice and warm, somehow(especially if they’re wearing high heels).

Sugar plums & diabetes

Talking with your significant other about this shitty human being you both can’t stand, trying to keep your loved one from murdering the poor S.O.B. when you hear stuff like:

“I love you a lot, babe, so I have to do the hard thing some times and be Obi-Wan, even if I’ll piss off the dark side inside of you.”
This reply might save your ass and hopefully keep your lover out of prison. You’re welcome!

Early Christmas Wishes

I’ll allow myself to wish for something this Christmas even if it’s silly to hope for these things the way I do.
I have 3 wishes:
1. I want my mom to feel better and enjoy the holidays like she did before her condition got worse;
2. I want my sweetheart to be have a warm home of her own and be truly happy, like she was during Christmas when she was little;
3. I want to have a real Christmas tree and celebrate the holiday for real for a change. A few years ago we didn’t even put up the plastic tree because we went through some hard times.

I found this super awesome picture too:
reindeer-and-christmas-tree
So badass! (I am laughing at myself right now.)

In Bloom

a ROMANIA steag 01 - natur
Presidential elections took place in Romania yesterday. The new President received around 54% of the votes. People went nuts over politics and in the end we got ourselves a new President. In my opinion it was the first time when a candidate seemed well mannered, educated and willing to make a change for the better, therefore he had my vote. This man, of German origin, was the Mayor of Sibiu up until wining the elections. He changed that town for the better and earned the gratitude and respect of the people there. Never before had a politician running for presidency seem so uncorrupted and full of good intentions.
I profoundly disliked the other candidate, the acting Prime Minister, due to the lack of respect towards those around him and unwillingness to help his people, not to mention the numerous times he publicly, blatantly lied. Some Romanian citizens living abroad waited up to 10 hours to vote because of the poor management of the voting system by the Prime Minister and the Government.

The country was pretty much divided in opinions and ideals, but through the new found hope for change towards a brighter future, where all citizens can live life accordingly to a country belonging to the E.U.; the lesser of two evils was elected. Honestly the man doesn’t seem at all evil, but people say that he is supported by the wrong political parties. On the other hand, the acting Prime Minister was supported by even a worse bunch and people took to the streets to protest their dissatisfaction towards the actions of the Government.

To sum it up it can be said that the majority chose a good man who made the people hope for the first time in a long time over a man that could have become a tyrant.

Now we wait for promises to bloom into actions and if not the people shall take to the streets once more, wounded by hope turned into ash. I personally hope that this President will do right by us and help our country flourish.